It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #history #world

this

day and age, giving lessons on the

culture

of different countries has become one of the main streams of fostering the young

generation

. Some people may contend that

children

should

initially

know as much about native past and traditions as they can because it is significant.

And from

Correct word choice

From

show examples

my perspective, it is more advantageous and important for young students to study local

history

and

culture

than learn world

history

To begin

with,

children

can obtain cultural confidence and belongingness by learning about their native past.

In other words

, after thoroughly studying the formation of native

history

, they build up pride in their civilization, and find a bond between self and

history

; through deeply understanding the spreading of local tradition, people easily form an emotional attachment to the land, especially for the young

generation

For instance

, many Chinese immigrants in

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

countries teach their next

generation

Mandarin, in order to give their

children

a sense of belonging in the aspect of

culture

and race.

Therefore

, confidence in

culture

and a sense of belonging are necessities for teaching

children

the lessons.

Furthermore

, to preserve local

history

, it is vital for young students to learn about various historical events.

For

this

reason

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

plenty of ethnic identities in specific areas and some minority traditions are being forgotten as time passes by, and fewer young people know the past of the place they live.

As a result

, young citizens will not understand the significance of numerous historical events happened to the land so that the preservation of the native

history

and civilization is going to be difficult to pass down to the next

generation

Thus

, citizens are supposed to learn more to protect local features. From the foregoing discussion, it is justifiable that the benefit of studying domestic

history

overtakes the drawbacks. School

children

are meant to learn their own past at the start,

then

the world’s

history

. The teachers ought to help students with the construction of confidence in a

culture

, passing down the notion of being responsible for defending their special

history

Submitted by sharonshisyf331 on Fri Dec 09 2022

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task response

You have provided a clear response to the task and presented comprehensive ideas. However, make sure to support your points with relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and coherent progression of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph is well-linked and the ideas flow smoothly throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Money is important in most people's lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

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People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problem be tackled?

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of old people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?