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Band 6.5

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #history #world
In
this
 day and age, giving lessons on the cultures of different countries has become one of the main streams of nurturing the younger generation. Some may contend that
children
 should
initially
 remember as much of their native
history
 and traditions as possible
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it is significant. And from my perspective, it is far more advantageous and critical for
children
 to learn about local
history
 and
culture
 than it is to learn about world
history
.
First
,
children
 can gain cultural confidence and a sense of belonging by learning about their native
history
.
In other words
, after a careful study of the formation of indigenous
history
,
children
 build pride in their
culture
 and find a bond between themselves and
history
. Intensely understanding the spread of local traditions makes it easy for people to form an emotional attachment to
land
Add an article
the land
show examples
, especially for younger generations.
For instance
, numerous Chinese immigrant families in Western countries teach their
next
 generation Mandarin in order to give their
children
 a sense of belonging in terms of
culture
 and ethnicity. So confidence in a
culture
 and a sense of belonging are essential to teaching
children
 lessons.
Moreover
, it is crucial for young students to learn about various historical events in order to preserve local
history
. For the reason that fewer young people understand the
history
 of
places
Add a comma
,places
show examples
 they live in, due to a large number of ethnic identities
in particular
 areas and the fact that some minority traditions are being forgotten over time.
As a result
, junior citizens will not understand the significance of the myriad historical events that have happened to the land, making it difficult to pass on the preservation of native
history
 and
culture
 to the
next
 generation. Citizens should
therefore
 learn more to protect local features. From the foregoing discussion, it may be justly said that the advantages of studying domestic
history
 outweigh the disadvantages. School
children
 are meant to start by learning their own
history
,
then
 the world. Teachers should help students build confidence in
culture
 by passing down the notion of responsibility for defending their particular
history
.
Submitted by sharonshisyf331 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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