IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
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These days, electric vehicles are slowly replacing fossil fuel-powered vehicles. I agree with the statement. Traditional vehicles cause
air
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 pollution, which can impact global warming, and fossil
fuels
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 are not sustainable. Conventional automobiles contribute to
air
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 pollution, which has a serious effect on global warming. When fossil
fuels
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 burn, carbon dioxide and nitrogen oxides are emitted into the
air
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. These kinds of
gases
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 are greenhouse
gases
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, which cause serious
air
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 pollution and global warming. Electric
cars
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 do not emit greenhouse
gases
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. It is more eco-friendly than fossil fuel-powered
cars
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.
Moreover
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, greenhouse
gases
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 are harmful to humans. It causes diseases
such
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 as asthma, eye disease, or something related to the respiratory system.
In addition
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, these chemical
gases
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 affect the ozone layer, which is related to global warming. Once chemical
gases
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 are trapped in the ozone layer, they don’t release into space.
As a result
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, it keeps increasing the temperature of the earth. Fossil
fuels
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 cannot be sustained. It is obvious that fossil
fuels
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 will eventually run out.
Therefore
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, we ought to discuss
this
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 problem and find the right solution. Electrically powered
cars
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 are the answer. We can easily earn and charge electricity, and it is sustained energy. There are many more replaceable energies than gasoline, like hydrogen energy.
However
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, electricity is more eco-friendly, cost-efficient, and sustainable among the energies that can replace fossil
fuels
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. In conclusion, electric
cars
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 have many more advantages than conventional
cars
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, but the most crucial thing is that electric
cars
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 are eco-friendly and sustainable.
Cars
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 using fossil
fuels
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 have a major negative impact on the environment.
For
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this
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 reason, electric
cars
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 should be considered as a substitute for fossil fuel
cars
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.
Submitted by oyj1798 on

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Structure
Develop a more balanced structure by having a clear introduction, well-developed paragraphs for each main point, and a concise conclusion. This will greatly enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion and make the transitions between sentences and paragraphs smoother.
Examples
Include a wider range of specific examples to support your arguments. This will increase the relevance and persuasiveness of your response.
Task Response
Fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument or providing a more nuanced view, even if you take a clear stance. This demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
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