Instead of training a few athletes to win medals at the Olympics, governments should spend the money on programmes encouraging the public to be active and stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that the money should be spent by the government on events promoting the public to be healthy and active,
instead
of educating numerous athletes to achieve medals at the Olympics.
Although
winning medals at the Olympics
introduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
introduces
show examples
the country to the world beneficially, I strongly believe that the fundamental aim of the
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
needs to be
considering
Change the verb form
to consider
show examples
average
Add an article
the average
an average
show examples
of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. On one hand, winning a medal at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
international competition presents
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
to the world, which can lead to several advantageous outcomes.
For example
, the Turkish athlete who is Naim Süleymanoğlu won a gold medal
regarding
Change preposition
in
show examples
weightlifting.
Then
, other athletes who want to be
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
in
this
sport,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
came to Turkey to take lessons from him in 1990.
This
led to
economical
Correct article usage
an economical
show examples
boost and increasing popularity
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Turkey.
Therefore
, some people claim that
governments
should allocate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
monetary resources to the sportive people.
On the other hand
, providing equal opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the citizens’ health should be one of the main missions of the
governments
since the definition of
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
state is
this
.
Thus
, the government should spend money
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
demands of society
to
Correct word choice
and to
show examples
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
objectives of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
For instance
, Somalia, which is one of the poorest countries in the world, is not able to prepare an athlete
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
the Olympics before the fulfilment of their basic needs
such
as being healthy. In conclusion, it is debated that
governments
should spend money for their citizens
staying
Change the verb form
to stay
show examples
healthy in place of programs which is encouraging
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
athletes. I completely agree with the statement since the government needs to put in an
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
order
then
it ought to take an action.
Submitted by merttufan197 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reallocate
  • mass health improvement
  • national health issues
  • foster a sense of community
  • boost morale
  • lifestyle
  • public health programs
  • government’s commitment
  • national pride
  • Olympic success
  • physical activity
  • discovery of new talents
  • elite athletes
  • balanced approach
  • physical and mental health benefits
  • inspiring national pride
  • unity
  • elite sports
  • innovation
  • sports science and technology
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!