Some people believe that money is one of the most important fators in a person's happiness. To what extant do you agree with this?

#people #money #fators #person #happiness

In the contemporary world,

people

give importance to materialism and believe happiness lies in monetary gains and being rich .In

this

essay, I am going to write my thoughts and mention why I believe it's not true. Many

people

hold the opinion that

money

makes life better. They think that those who are rich and privileged are content in their life and that they have no problems whatsoever. Most of us aspire to be rich and famous and get intimidated especially after seeing the extravagance of celebrities on social media believing that what they show is true.

People

get easily influenced by their glamour and give importance to

money

over relationships and other important aspects of life

such

as family and friends.

Although

money

is needed for the basic daily affairs and to provide for the family It is not where happiness lies. Contentment is more about nurturing relationships, being able to enjoy what we have and taking care of our health and well-being. What good is

money

without good health? Having seen, Suicide rates and depression are highest among celebrities so much so that we often come across news about famous

people

getting into drug abuse and other crimes thereby proving that a luxurious lifestyle does mean one is happy. In conclusion, it is the requirement of each one of us to fulfil our basic needs but

money

alone does not bring happiness and peace of mind. We work hard to earn

money

to fulfil the needs of our family to be able to cherish our bonding with them and provide them with better care and facilities.

Submitted by drbismamalik on Fri Dec 09 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that money is one of the most important fators in a person's happiness. To what extant do you agree with this?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area.

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Some people believe that exams are an unappropriate way of measuring students performance and should be replaced by continuous assessments. Do you agree or disagree?