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Band 7

Some people believe that money is one of the most important fators in a person's happiness. To what extant do you agree with this?

#people #money #fators #person #happiness
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In the contemporary world,
people
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 give importance to materialism and believe happiness lies in monetary gains and being rich .In
this
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 essay, I am going to write my thoughts and mention why I believe it's not true. Many
people
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 hold the opinion that
money
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 makes life better. They think that those who are rich and privileged are content in their life and that they have no problems whatsoever. Most of us aspire to be rich and famous and get intimidated especially after seeing the extravagance of celebrities on social media believing that what they show is true.
People
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 get easily influenced by their glamour and give importance to
money
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 over relationships and other important aspects of life
such
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 as family and friends.
Although
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money
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 is needed for the basic daily affairs and to provide for the family It is not where happiness lies. Contentment is more about nurturing relationships, being able to enjoy what we have and taking care of our health and well-being. What good is
money
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 without good health? Having seen, Suicide rates and depression are highest among celebrities so much so that we often come across news about famous
people
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 getting into drug abuse and other crimes thereby proving that a luxurious lifestyle does mean one is happy. In conclusion, it is the requirement of each one of us to fulfil our basic needs but
money
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 alone does not bring happiness and peace of mind. We work hard to earn
money
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 to fulfil the needs of our family to be able to cherish our bonding with them and provide them with better care and facilities.
Submitted by drbismamalik on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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