Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Rich
nations
are providing financial and economic help to non-developed countries
, however
, this
assistance provided is not reflected in the life conditions of the society, therefore
, another kind of help should be extended in order
to reach real changes. This
essay strongly agrees with the statement provided above, as many rich countries
, usually, provide financial aid just to collect the interest generated and to have influence over non-developed countries
. On top of that, if rich nations
want to help generate real changes in the poor countries
, they should work to provide other kinds of solutions to resolve the core issues that third countries
face, such
as corruption and poverty.
To begin
with, as I mentioned before, rich nations
only lend financial resources with two main aims, get interest payments and have political control over the poor countries
. A classic example of this
is U.S.
lending money through different institutions Correct article usage
the U.S.
such
as IMF
and World Bank. Correct article usage
the IMF
For instance
, these international institutions lent financial aid to Argentina many times, however
, the country
remains as usual since they never worked in accordance to improve the country
. The main aims were to get the interest payments over the overall
percentage (For risk conditions) and to have control over the economic policies within the country
.
Moreover
, in order
to generate real and significant changes, another type of help should be provided by developed countries
. It would be more positive for everyone if rich nations
provided poor countries
with measures such
as:
commercial deals in Remove the comma
apply
order
to generate an increase in their international commerce, real investments to exploit natural resources in order
to generate more job positions, and transparency controls and controllers to avoid future scenarios of corruption. For instance
, if the IMF lend money to Argentina to develop lithium companies in the northern part of the country
, it would generate a real benefit for both parties, as Argentina can develop and generate extra jobs and revenues and the IMF can get their money back easily.
To conclude
, this
essay agrees with the idea that is
needed to provide more than financial aid to third countries
in order
to notice a real impact on their societies and economies.Submitted by tomasmutilva99 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you vary your sentence structures to avoid repetition and improve readability. Consider combining shorter sentences to form more complex structures.
task achievement
Clarify some points with specific examples where needed, ensuring that each main idea is thoroughly explored and backed up with evidence. For example, the statement about generating more job positions could be elaborated on with statistics or case studies.
coherence cohesion
Take care to proofread your essay for minor errors and awkward phrasing to enhance clarity. Examples include 'remains as usual' which could be better phrased as 'remains largely unchanged.'
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear and well-structured argument, with a strong introduction and a logical conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.
task achievement
The main points are well-chosen and relevant to the topic, with specific examples used to support the argument, such as the example of Argentina and the IMF.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?