IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

School should not force students who do not have natural ability for learning foreign language to study other language at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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It is reckoned that foreign languages should not be set as compulsory subjects
due to
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 the students who can't naturally learn at school. In my aspect, I quite disagree with the thought.
To begin
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 with, plenty of foreign languages are taught at educational institutions since the crowds realise the merits of the interaction both to the country and to the person in
this
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 day and age,
nevertheless
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, a fair portion of people opine that the students should be able to learn voluntarily because the embarrassment caused by the mistakes may appear during studying,
besides
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 that, some say that it is a time-consuming machine.
For instance
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, in the afternoon, children ought to play outside which is able to boost either physical or mental strength with their friends
instead
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 of studying unnecessary lessons which can reduce the courage and mark the wound in mind.
On the contrary
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, loads of the folks opine that communication is very crucial nowadays because individuals are living in different countries which own each language,
furthermore
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, cultural differences are considered the troubles often happening whilst not only working but living
thus
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 the group of people believe that the issues can be eliminated by the school.
For example
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, Japanese is spoken in Japan, and in parallel, Americans speak English,
hence
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, in the case of business communication, the translator is a must. To illustrate
further
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, most Japanese use chopsticks during a meal meanwhile other countries eat with a spoon. For these reasons, it should be taken part by educational institutions. In conclusion, in my opinion, I believe that
although
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 mistakes often turn up during the subjects, they can
also
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 be symbolised as a level of progress,
therefore
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, the students should access and apply the new knowledge in normal life.

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Efficient use of transition words to connect your ideas smoothly, which greatly aids in the readability of your essay.
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Good coverage of both sides of the argument, presenting a balanced view before stating your position.
coherence cohesion
Effective introduction of the topic and a clear statement of your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Appropriate conclusion that summarizes your viewpoints well and reaffirms your stance.
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