In some countries, secondary education focuses in depth on two or three subjects, while in others students take a large number of subjects. Which system do you think is better?

#countries #education #depth #two #three #subjects #students #system

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

contemporary epoch, the debate over whether or not studying nonessential materials is beneficial. Whilst some proponents emphasize that schools should mainly focus on scientific

subjects

Use synonyms

, some opponents and I adopt a diverse stance because non-core materials rekindle the imagination of teenagers and raise their cultural awareness. In

this

Linking Words

essay, my contention will be

further

Linking Words

elaborated. To embark on, despite many guardians

discern

Wrong verb form

discerning

show examples

that learning music, art and theatre may hinder their dependents from spending ample time studying physics and biology, these courses are able to increase the intelligence and soft skills of young people.

This

Linking Words

means that when students become exposed to various kinds of sciences,

this

Linking Words

will broaden their horizons. An eminent example of

this

Linking Words

is a study conducted by Cairo University which has revealed that students who get acquainted with the symphonies of Mozart have shown more development in their interpersonal skills.

Therefore

Linking Words

, what can be said is that learning subsidiary courses is quintessential for teenagers' development.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, thanks to secondary

subjects

Use synonyms

, youth have had a significant cultural awareness.

In other words

Linking Words

, if young males and females are introduced to

history

Use synonyms

classes to a high extent, they will have a sense of cultural identity to combat

cultural

Add an article

the cultural

show examples

invasion.

This

Linking Words

can be witnessed by international schools in Egypt which consider

history

Use synonyms

a core material, and

this

Linking Words

has led to more historical comprehension.

Accordingly

Linking Words

, in a final analysis, secondary

subjects

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

history

Use synonyms

cannot be neglected. In conclusion, after

this

Linking Words

essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that not only does focusing on two or three main

subjects

Use synonyms

prevent learners from acquiring crucial skills, but

also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

poses a threat to the recognition of culture and

history

Use synonyms

. Eventually, I am a staunch believer that without subsidiary courses, youth could not have been sharp-witted.

Submitted by ericssonsony551 on Fri Dec 09 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?
The surge in private car ownership, while offering convenience and autonomy to individuals, poses substantial drawbacks for the environment. While some argue that personal vehicles contribute positively by optimizing energy use and alleviating strain on public transport, the adverse environmental implications significantly outweigh these advantages.
6.5
band
Some people say that success is "10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work". Is hard work the key to success, or is talent also important
It is commonly believed that achieving success demands a combination of innate talent and considerable effort. Undoubtedly, hard work plays a pivotal role, yet innate abilities also hold significance for several reasons outlined in this essay.
4.5
band
Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Mobile phones, one of the most useful technological devices, has significantly changed humankind's lives. People from all social classes nowadays rely on their phone in order to make their lives easier. Not to mention many students and children utilize their gadget for self-learning activities. However, the author argue that there are some places where children should take a distance from the phones, one of them is school.
6.5
band
Nowadays youngsters are less polite and less respectful than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this issue?
Currently, people have different views as to whether young people are impolite and less respectful than in the past. This essay will express the reason for the problem and explain the solution. Despite the fact that youngsters are less polite and they do not have respect an important issue, I believe that it can resolve this issue when children grow up.
4.5
band
The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, the topic about retirees is one of the most discussed topics in every country. Many people argue saying that it is government’s obligation to take care of elderly people by providing financial aid, while others indicate that elderly people should think about the future and save money.

In some countries, secondary education focuses in depth on two or three subjects, while in others students take a large number of subjects. Which system do you think is better?

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

Some people say that success is "10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work". Is hard work the key to success, or is talent also important

Nowadays youngsters are less polite and less respectful than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this issue?