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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Several language are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. Some people say that government should spend money on saving them, while, others think that it is waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#language #danger #extinction #people #government #money #waste
There are a vast variety of
languages
 around the world, and some of them are threatened by extinction
,
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apply
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 because they are spoken by a small group of
people
. Some
people
 believe that governments should invest money in saving them,
while
 others think it is a waste of money. I personally believe that all
languages
 are very important, and both governments and individuals should put effort into keeping them. I strongly believe that all of the
languages
 around the world should be saved, because of several reasons. On the one hand, the
languages
 are nations' identity. Learning and exploring them helps us understand their culture. We can know what did they look like, and what did they value more. It not only leads to a better understanding of their culture but
also
 helps find out how their
people
 have got here now. By only conserving the
languages
, we can save a majority of information about those
people
. Some
people
 believe that saving different
languages
 is not important, because they do not consider what their current
language
 comes from. They actually came from these old
languages
. A lot of words that we use in our daily lives have an older version.
For instance
, a great poem in Iran, Ferdosi, many many years ago, started to save the previous
Persian's
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Persian
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language
. He wrote a lot of different stories in that
language
. It not only helps us understand those
people
 and their lives, but
also
 we could find the roots of our current
language
. I
also
 recently read
in
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an article about Ferdosy which mentioned the kingdom in that era was helping Fersody to write
such
piece
Correct article usage
a piece
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 of art.
Thus
 I believe the governments are most responsible.
Although
 some
people
 believe that investing in saving different
languages
 are waste of money, I believe it is essential for their nations as they are valuable assets to learn about the culture and the roots of their current
languages
.
Submitted by rozakoohvand on

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coherence cohesion
Try to clarify the connection between each main point more explicitly for better flow.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point with clear examples to support the argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both views clearly.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is evident with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Interesting and relevant examples are used to support main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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