IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some feel that cities should be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Cities
Use synonyms
 are important to
people
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so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 the government spend a lot of money on the
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
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 of
cities
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.
Although
Linking Words
 some believe that the plan of
cities
Use synonyms
 should be beautiful, others think that their functionality should be prioritised. I am inclined to believe that
function
Correct article usage
the function
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 of
cities
Use synonyms
 is more significant than their design. On the one hand, everyone wants the place where they live to look nice because the
city
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 they live in affects their moods. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other words, when you visit any
city
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, you
initially
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 look at the planning of
cities
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such
Linking Words
 as parks, buildings and roads.
In addition
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,
people
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 prefer to visit
cities
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 which have a good design
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 the more money
cities
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 will earn.
For instance
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, Beyoğlu
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is a famous
city
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 in
Turkey
Punctuation problem
Turkey,
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 has various old-designed structures and buildings.
People
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 visit there to take photos.
On the other hand
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, the government should give more importance to regional functions. There are a lot of
people
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 living in
cities
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, so if they put it on the back burner,
cities
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 will not be useful to
people
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.
For example
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, many transportation services look older and
ugly
Fix the agreement mistake
uglier
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.
However
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, they provide
to
Verb problem
apply
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transport
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
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 over long distances.
Moreover
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, some skyscrapers are built in the centre of the
city
Use synonyms
 to fulfil
people
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's need for shelter.
Thus
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, it is more important for
cities
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 to be functional
due to
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 the high quality of life.
To conclude
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, whether a region's design is more important or not is a controversial issue. From my perspective, the region should be planned
according to
Linking Words
 its function because
this
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 affects
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is predictable that the number of countries which prioritise the
cities
Use synonyms
' functions will increase over time.

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structure
Plan the essay with a clearer map: one intro, two body paragraphs (one on beauty, one on function), and a short conclusion that states your view.
content
Make your view clear in the last part of the essay; connect each idea to why it helps or hurts city life.
content
Add specific proof or facts that show how city planning helps people (not just looks).
language
Fix basic grammar and spelling errors (e.g., 'In the other words' → 'In other words'; 'spend' → 'spends').
content
The essay argues for function over beauty and keeps this idea.
structure
The writer shows a balance by giving sides before the final view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • city
  • design
  • beauty
  • function
  • side
  • people
  • life
  • home
  • work
  • plan
  • transport
  • road
  • street
  • park
  • garden
  • tree
  • color
  • light
  • art
  • clean
  • safe
  • air
  • water
  • waste
  • cost
  • price
  • build
  • housing
  • job
  • service
  • cycle
  • walk
  • car
  • bus
  • train
  • speed
  • easy
  • hard
  • big
  • small
  • modern
  • old
  • idea
  • point
  • problem
  • solution
  • improve
  • balance
  • future
  • choice
  • option
  • together
  • planning
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