You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefer
Dear Sir,
I am writing
this
letter with regard to inform
you about the accommodation issues in the college Wrong verb form
informing
room
.
To begin
with, the room
is a
quite small for the two members and our Change the article
apply
room
has only one bed in comparison with other bedrooms in the college.Moreover
,the room
is not only untidy but also
previous students left their
some Change the pronoun
them
stuffs
,which has taken more space in the use.
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
In addition
,it is difficult for me to manage some problems. Firstly
, there is very limited space to accommodate my household stuff,therefore
I putted
those in my friend's Correct your spelling
put
room
.Secondly
, the fan in the room
is not working properly,due
to Correct word choice
and due
this
,it is challenging for me to work on my study.
Lastly
, I would like to share my opinion in terms of living space. In that, I am not excepting private room
but the bedrooms should be comfortable enough for two members. Apart from
this
,the basic amenities should be provided without any problem.
I hope you will address these concerns as soon as possible.
yours sincerely,
ParthkumarSubmitted by pp6859 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on how the issues specifically impact your ability to study, providing more detailed examples or scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be split or joined for better flow. For instance, 'Moreover, the room is not only untidy but also previous students left their some stuffs' can be clearer as two separate sentences.
task achievement
You have clearly described the situation, listed specific problems, and provided a solution which addresses your concerns.
coherence cohesion
Your letter includes a proper greeting and closing, which adds formality and completeness.