Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, advertising has a significant role in our daily life which leads to some people believing it can cause the public to buy things.
While
others are in contrast
, they agree on this
, that it is a useless way to persuade people to buy things.
To begin
with, on many occasions, trusting someone can lead us to do whatever they suggest as we think they want best for us or something turned out well for them so, it will be good enough for us as well. Therefore
, as there are some communities that are famous on social media we can expect them to be great influencers. As an illustration, in Iran, Instagram has become a wonderful place for popular ones to advertise products and gain money as they have many followers and be
trusted.
Wrong verb form
are
In addition
, needless to say, seeing sites offering trials can motivate curiosity, as we want to give the app a try and figure out whether it is useful or not and without even wanting to consume a thing by using those trials we may be thrilled to. To exemplify, some applications such
as Picsart offer you a 7 days
free consumption and it can be an opportunity for anyone who is concerned.
Correct your spelling
7-day
However
, using this
method can be exhausting for some generations especially, older ones, hearing the same audio and video repeatedly can be annoying in some circumstances ,therefore
, has the opposite effect as whenever the public sees those advertisements instead
of willing
to buy rather take alternatives ways. Add a missing verb
being willing
For example
, there are bad acts in any films or tuning sounds thus
, some may hear or watch those parts and promise themselves not to go even near those products as a result
of bad directing.
In conclusion, I consider, this
method is
beneficial as watching those advertisements on television or social media can boost our curiosity and lead to a few changes . Wrong verb form
to be
Also
, trusting someone is a great deal, therefore
influencers have a vital role in persuading us.Submitted by meli_kh3000 on
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Content
The essay attempts to cover both sides of the argument but is slightly biased towards the opinion that advertising is effective. Fair development and support of ideas but examples could be explained better to fully enhance the argument
Grammar
The essay has minor grammatical errors and incorrect word usage which could be improved.
Sentence Structure
Several sentences are structured awkwardly, such as 'While others are in contrast, they agree on this, that it is a useless way to persuade people to buy things.' This awkward phrasing detracts from the overall clarity of the essay.
Tone
The use of occasional informal language (e.g 'giving the app a try', 'tuning sounds') detracts from the formal tone typically expected in IELTS academic essays.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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