Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

In today's society, the majority believe that being rich is the key to

stay

Wrong verb form

staying

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happy. In fact, finances provide you

Change preposition

with more

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opportunities and

comfortable

Correct article usage

a comfortable

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lifestyle

Add the comma(s)

,On

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the other hand, we have more

value

Replace the word

valuable

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things that make

you

Correct pronoun usage

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happier, it is close

people

Change preposition

to people

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, namely

your

Correct pronoun usage

our

show examples

family and friends. It is obvious, at present you can't survive without a strong cash flow.

Consequently

Add a comma

,Consequently

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to live comfortably, all you need is to have a rigid income. If you are financially stable you can easily afford a luxurious life and it is so uncomplicated to achieve your targets too.

For instance

, if you are wealthy enough,

then

you can purchase a villa close to the beach or on a private island which makes you extremely satisfied and happy for the entire lifetime by treating yourself as a king with a load of joyful activities that you could do.

However

, even though you are a billionaire, there are some other facts that you can't afford by paying cash. Being rich might not be a help if you suffer from an incurable disease and it will lead to becoming miserable.

Furthermore

, there are a lot of situations in which money cannot make you live like a perfect person.

For example

although

you bought a castle or villa and if you do not have a family or a close set of friends to share your thoughts or happiness

, you

Change preposition

with, you

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will feel alone and your life becomes so monotonous

and

Correct word choice

apply

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also

the

Correct article usage

apply

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being not mentally stable will not add glow to your soul. So

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

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, it is necessary to think about a balance between physical and mental

healthiness

Replace the word

health

show examples

. To conclude, it is acceptable that being a rich person can lead to having a luxurious life. But there are many more other reasons, which we should not forget, especially the spiritual and psychological facts to make a person so joyful and delighted.

Submitted by Allazhar on Fri Dec 09 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and give your opinion.

The picture shows the rates of smoking in Someland by men and women. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparison where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

public libraries provide a large collection of books to read. Some people argue that they should also provide other hi-tech facilities like computer,internet,CDs,DVDs. do u agree or disagree with the statement?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?