Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The significance of local
facilities
has been highlighted over the past decades. From
this
aspect, questions about whether corporations should provide
sports
and social
facilities
for local communities arise. In my opinion,
companies
should offer
sports
and social
facilities
. Irrefutably, the promotion of the
company
occurs.
This
is because corporations release articles about huge investments to establish
sports
and social
facilities
and have opportunities to advertise the
company
's name on the
facilities
' exterior and interior.
This
obviously leads citizens to be aware of businesses' contributions to local individuals and
this
in turn results in a positive and trusted reputation in local communities. What is more,
although
a huge construction expense cannot be ignored, employees experience job satisfaction from convenient
facilities
. In actual fact, labour studies undertaken by experts have revealed that workers who live in local areas with invested amenities from the
companies
are more likely to visit
sports
and social
facilities
which enhance their fitness and social relationship.
This
,
therefore
, brings about a better quality of life.
Nevertheless
, an investment in local
facilities
barely makes a profit for
companies
.
In other words
, since building on
sports
and social amenities costs a huge amount of money, each
company
would make a capital loan from a financial organisation, so these
companies
would struggle with a financial burden. To recapitulate, an investment in local
facilities
barely makes a profit for
companies
, but establishing amenities leads to an increase in the
company
's promotion and employees' job satisfaction.
Thus
, corporations should offer
sports
and social
facilities
.
Submitted by subin12260 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task well and covers multiple aspects of the topic, it would benefit from delving deeper into how such investments can positively impact communities, with specific examples or hypothetical situations demonstrating this impact.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. Although the logical structure is strong, incorporating more transitional phrases between ideas can further enhance cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction that aptly sets up the argument and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported and developed, making the argument compelling.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community well-being
  • corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • healthcare costs
  • public image
  • customer loyalty
  • economic growth
  • community relations
  • job satisfaction
  • balanced lifestyle
  • stimulate local economy
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