Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

#celebrities #film #stars #sportsmen #pop #musicians #money #jobs

In recent times, it is irrefutable that celebrities have higher earnings as compared to other sectors.

Although

this

debate is controversial, I agree with the statement that they are being overpaid.

This

essay will explore the departments that I believe deserve huge wages. The most prominent sectors without which human survival is inevitable are health and education. Doctors should be highly paid because they have to overcome several challenges to get a certification.

Moreover

, they have to become a bookworm for several years, sacrifice their social life and invest a large amount of money to become a specialist.

Thus

, they should be rewarded by allocating good packages.

Besides

this

, teachers are the cornerstone of any nation. Whether a person is an engineer, a doctor or a businessman, he is unable to get a qualification without the assistance of a teacher. High salaries would encourage teachers to provide quality education, and

this

will foster juveniles to pursue their careers.

This

will lead towards the country’s development and economic boost as more aspirants will acquire high-level positions.

Hence

, a nation will progress.

Nevertheless

, earning a name and fame to become a renowned celebrity is

also

a daunting task. Singers, dancers and sportsmen faced numerous obstacles to reach the pinnacles of success, and they set their values.

Therefore

, it is unfair to state that they are getting more money than they deserve.

To conclude

, even though celebrities

such

as singers or athletes are earning excessively, it is their hard-earned money. Despite

this

, I believe that healthcare and educational employees should have the highest annual packages as both are indispensable sectors for a developed or developing nation.

Submitted by sdeepkaur9 on Tue Feb 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position throughout, responding to the question directly and maintaining focus, which is good for task achievement. To improve, make sure to fully develop all parts of the task, not only stating your opinion but also addressing counterarguments more thoroughly.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a generally logical structure, with an introduction, main body, and conclusion. Transition words are used appropriately. However, try to make logical connections between ideas even clearer, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance coherence.

task achievement

You have supported your main points with explanations, but including a greater variety of specific examples to support your points might make your argument more convincing. Aim to include at least one detailed example per main body paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems.
The increasing number of the population, especially in big cities is the cause of many disasters. Overproduction, overconsuming, pollution, are just some problems that the society of our times can not solve. Of course, there are solutions for every problem, for example people should protect natural and artificial resources as much as possible.
6.5
band
Many teachers follow the practice of giving students task for home often based on lessons taught in class . It is often believed that such a practice should be stopped as it reduces time spend on leisure activities or nonacademic pursuits. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a debate that by giving students homework teachers take away the extra time they could have spent on outside activities, therefore it should be eliminated. This essay disagrees with this statement because it is an effective way for students to fully understand the material and it teaches them to be more responsible.
5
band
Nowadays food travels thousands of miles before reaching consumers. It affects the agriculture and economy of the destination country, and for this reason, people should prefer food produced by local farmers. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your experience.
We live in an age when many of foods go through diffrenet process stages befor arive to the consumers, and this affects both the economy of the country and regional agriculture, as a result of that, people should start support the local foods. However, this essay totally agrees with this statment because the product of the country more healthy and frisher beside, supporting the economic culture of the region.
5.5
band
Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on evironment, eating habit and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A lot of people believe that food industry has bad impact on environment, human beings and their eating habits. I completely agree with this point as the multinational food industries exploits forest, natural resources and compromises with our health to gain maximum profit on the cost of health of the customers.
7
band
People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
In this modern era, people want to become rich overnight and keep moving from one job to another, while many prefer to plan their profession in advance and stay longer at one job, so they can make future plans accordingly. I fully agree with the given statement if a person wants to achieve a goal and have a safe future, he must think about staying in one job. Both sides of this essay will be carefully analysed before constructing an inference.

Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems.

Many teachers follow the practice of giving students task for home often based on lessons taught in class . It is often believed that such a practice should be stopped as it reduces time spend on leisure activities or nonacademic pursuits. Do you agree or disagree?

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on evironment, eating habit and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.