IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Our personalities are predefined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

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It is argued that
people
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's personalities are reclarified thanks to their DNA codes before they are born, meanwhile, neither effect which comes
to
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from
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 outside can influence or alter
this
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 thing.
Although
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,
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people
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people's
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behave
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behaviour
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 cannot change, I strongly believe that
parents
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 are the key factor
for
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in
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development
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the development
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 of character. On
one
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 hand, there is a belief about personality
are
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is
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 influenced by our genes and
it
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apply
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cannot be altered as
one
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 is facing
public
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the public
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 in
everyday
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every day
show examples
 and he/she understands
the
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apply
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how
people
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close
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are close
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 to changing their personalities.
For instance
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, in bilateral relations both sides strive to alter to
Correct article usage
the other
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other
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another
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 side,
however
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, no
one
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 gets the results
which
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that
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one
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 wants.
Thus
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,
people
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 think characters
of
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apply
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people’s
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people
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 are
results
Correct article usage
the results
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 of DNA codes.
On the other hand
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, the most significant element for determining the individuals’ personalities is
as to
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apply
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how
parents
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 educate them because when a person
born
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is born
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, he is like a white paper. His parent's pencils define the how
paper
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the paper
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 will be at the end of the drawing.
For example
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, a great many experts in
this
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 field highlight that education in
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first
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the first
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 ten years is
more
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a more
the more
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 decisive factor in
people
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's
trait
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traits
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.
Moreover
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, in
this
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 case, Meltem Çelik, which is
one
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 of the famous pedagogues in Turkey, resembles
parents
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 to
sculptor
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sculptors
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 and children to
sculpture
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sculpt
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.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 have a big role in the improvement of
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
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trait
Fix the agreement mistake
traits
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. In conclusion, whether personality is an inborn gift, or it can be affected by outside remains
controversial
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a controversial
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 issue. I completely agree
with
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apply
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that individuals
Change the determiner
that individual
those individuals
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 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 young ages (0-10) can be shaped by their
parents
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.

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