Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Many

museums

Use synonyms

require fees for entry,

while

Linking Words

others are free. I believe the advantages of charging

people

Use synonyms

for admission to

museums

Use synonyms

outweigh the disadvantages. Because without an entry

Use synonyms

fee

Add a comma

fee,

show examples

they would not earn profit for the maintenance of

museums

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, admission fees allow the

museums

Use synonyms

to protect the collections of

museums

Use synonyms

. By collecting the revenue, it can be used for the preservation of the museum.

This

Linking Words

income can

also

Linking Words

be used for the renovation of the

museums

Use synonyms

. Mainly these

museums

Use synonyms

are funded by government sectors,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

this

Linking Words

can lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

shortage of money. So,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

charging admission fees could be beneficial for the payment of

salary

Correct article usage

the salary

show examples

of employees

those

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

who are working there.

For instance

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

comparing many

museums

Use synonyms

who

Correct pronoun usage

those that

show examples

collect entry

Use synonyms

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

are far more maintained and cleaner than those

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

do not charge

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, allowing entrance

Use synonyms

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

will demotivate

people

Use synonyms

who are from low-income

background

Fix the agreement mistake

backgrounds

show examples

Linking Words

Subsequently

Add a comma

Subsequently,

show examples

they cannot be able to access free knowledge and information about cultural heritage.

However

Linking Words

, most of the

people

Use synonyms

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

not there to treasure the exhibits but came to experience the free services.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, crowded

people

Use synonyms

can be noisier and might

also

Linking Words

damage some exhibits. In conclusion,

preservation

Correct article usage

the preservation

show examples

of exhibits is prioritized more as it could have valuable things from the past,

for

Correct word choice

and for

show examples

this

Linking Words

they need profit.

This

Linking Words

will improve the economy and can maintain the museum in a good way.

jackjohn0590

Dec 10, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

236 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree.
Studying academic educational programs to develop skills has become more efficient and revolutionised various fields of employment, globally. It is often said that too much attention is given to student learning rather than focusing on extracurricular activities whereas some believe that the government should allocate more funds to developing leisure activities, as this could support their overall development. This essay will explain why an equal amount of resources should be used for both cases.
6
band
Some opine that individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. They think that we must return to older and more traditional values such as respect for the elderly people and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the era of modernization, some people think that greediness and selfishness have been the most common things in modern society. However, they believe that individual must go back to their older traditional values for a better life of everyone. I totally agree with this viewpoint and will describe my reasons with related examples in the following essay.
6.5
band
Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times, and they think it is a waste of time to read any entertainments books.What is your opinion about this?
Many moms and dads think that their children must read only academic books or study related information, and reading any exciting book they love is a poor use of time. In my opinion, going through interesting books will make our children enjoy reading more and improve their reading skills.
7
band
Advertisement of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisements to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?
Many people argue that promoting harmful products, such as unhealthy foods and certain types of game-related accessories, to families with toddlers should be strictly regulated by governments. I completely agree with this school of thought, as processed foods contribute to the increasing obesity rates among young people, while some toys may negatively affect children's attention spans and overall development.
7
band
Space exploration is too expensive and many money should be spent on more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In our digital age, space conquest is paid attention to as an important thing although it is too expensive. This is argued that the government should focus on other potential problems to improve the quality of life. The writer of this essay concentrates on the benefits of space research and will discuss it.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times, and they think it is a waste of time to read any entertainments books.What is your opinion about this?

Advertisement of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisements to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Space exploration is too expensive and many money should be spent on more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree