some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with, what are the advantges and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Add an article
the children
show examples
get
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of stuff from their family to play with
this
essay will analyze the plus points and drawbacks of
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
more than enough toys for
children
to make them happy.
Buy
Wrong verb form
Buying
show examples
a lot of facilities for
children
can bring a great number of merit.
First
,they can make memorize childhood for themself . Game is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important part of life for each kid ,if we think about
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
,at the
first
we remember our doll or our plastic gun and how
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
satisfied when our family gave us a dolly as a gift.
second
,
children
can play for long hours a day . these days
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
dual income
Add a hyphen
dual-income
show examples
family
Change to a plural noun
families
show examples
are witnessed all around the world
thus
fathers and mothers are very tied up and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
hectic
Correct article usage
a hectic
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
hence
they do not have energy or enough time to play with their son or
theire
Correct your spelling
their
daughter so they tend to buy various kind of game for their babies.
however
,on the down
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
,the drawbacks of a large number of facilities for kids should not be
over looked
Correct your spelling
overlooked
show examples
,
Change preposition
at,To
show examples
To begin
with maybe they become spoiled. Supposedly a child girl badger to her father to buy a new doll ,
whem
Correct your spelling
when
she has different dolls in her bedroom and she has played with them for once only ,
therefore
in the future she will be
spoiled
Correct article usage
a spoiled
show examples
or
Correct article usage
a rebelious
show examples
rebelious
Correct your spelling
rebellious
teenager if she gets anything she
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
by crying.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
,
children
need to play
out door
Correct your spelling
outdoor
show examples
games ,Recently people are suffering from
Correct article usage
a sedentry
show examples
sedentry
Correct your spelling
sedentary
lifestyle
unfortunatly
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
our
children
become couch-potato ,
parents
Correct word choice
so parents
show examples
should encourage them to play hide and sick or build a
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
with contemporary kids , If babies do not hang out ,they will be lazy. by way of conclusion ,
Pay
Wrong verb form
Paying
show examples
money for
children
's stuff create a better childhood
on
Add the comma(s)
,on
show examples
the other hand ,It is
possible
Change the word
possibly
show examples
disrespectful and inactive. It
apears
Correct your spelling
appears
to me that the benefits of
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of playthings for a baby should not be overrated as the disadvantages are more significant.
Submitted by tavazoiesaed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: