IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

.” Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree.

#prevention #cure” #diseases #measures
Investing in methods to prevent sickness, certainly, will help society to reduce costs. I completely agree with
this
 statement, there are different ways to prevent illness,
therefore
, have a better
life
.
Firstly
,
prevention
 is the best way to anticipate a disease that people could develop in their
life
.
This
 not only helps to reduce cost
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
additionally
, will avoid suffering to discover an illness very late.
Therefore
, it is important to enhance preventive actions. Doing yearly medical exams will give information about your health. If the results are not expected, a treatment is token.
For example
, nowadays, cancer is a common disease, that causes suffering and the treatment is costly.
Nonetheless
,
prevention
 is the most important action. Patients will save money due to the fast treatment and the illness would not be so lethal if it is discovered in its early stages.
Secondly
, is it important to mention that
prevention
 is not only an individual issue,
moreover
, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
also
 a society that should act
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 A way to do
this
 is government should make plans to enhance avoidance and encourage healthy
life
, undoubtedly, the consequences will be a better condition of
life
 for the people and reducing the cost of having an expensive medical process.
On the other hand
, even if some diseases have cures, they will be very expensive. To illustrate, diabetes can be developed
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 genetics or because of bad habits. The
last
 one
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 could have been avoided,
consequently
, saving money and complications, even, losing the capacity to
seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
. To conclude,
prevention
 not only enhance saving money, but
additionally
, but
also
to have
Change the verb form
having
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 a better
life
 and
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
show examples
 suffering. It is important to be informed and
act
Replace the word
active
show examples
.
Submitted by ealvaradodlf on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive care
  • prevalence
  • healthcare budgets
  • public health campaigns
  • healthy lifestyles
  • long-term benefits
  • early detection
  • intervention
  • severe stages
  • accessibility
  • public compliance
  • unpredictability
  • ethical considerations
  • resource allocation
  • lifestyle diseases
  • mitigate
  • global disparities
  • high-income countries
  • low-income countries
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