IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Is it better to live in a small or a big city? Give reasons and examples to support you answer.

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The discussion of whether individuals ought to live in a large town or in a small one has sparked substantial deliberation.
While
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 some advocate for residing in a developed
city
Use synonyms
, because it holds numerous job prospects, others contend it, arguing for living in a smaller town,
due to
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 having untampered vegetation. Analyzing these facts would give a comprehensive understanding of
this
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 subject matter. On the one hand, developed cities provide enormous job opportunities since companies are concentrated around these areas.
For instance
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, a survey, from my recently concluded capstone project shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 residents of a big
city
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 are 75% more likely to be employed within a month than their counterparts. Clearly,
this
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 is an employment possibility only large cities can offer.
Therefore
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, it is apparent that living in a large state is more favourable.
On the other hand
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, smaller towns still have an untampered ecosystem which has not been damaged by industrialization.
For example
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, I chose to reside in Greater Sudbury because of the reserved environment which is free from industrial pollution. Obviously,
such
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 a preserved ecosystem would solely be found in a small community.
Hence
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,
it is clear that
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 individuals are better off living in a small
city
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the dialogue on whether individuals ought to stay in a big
city
Use synonyms
 or a small one has prompted a considerable dispute. Many champion that life in a big
city
Use synonyms
 is better,
due to
Linking Words
 massive job opportunities, others, refute it, highlighting that the eco-friendliness of a small state makes it a better option. Examining both standpoints has given an extensive overview of
this
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 topic.

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coherence cohesion
Work on incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance logical flow and cohesion. This will make transitions between ideas smoother and your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to bolster your arguments. While you provide examples, making them more detailed and related to a wider context can strengthen your case and make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are not only present but also effectively summarize your main points and re-state your position clearly. This reinforces the structure of your argument and your stance on the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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