Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatment #doctor #development

this

modern era, an increasing trend happens between

people

solving their health issues with various methods and do not follow the traditional ways. Surely, I do not agree with

this

matter because lots of problems come with that and

people

will be faced serious harm to their bodies. It is so crucial to visit a doctor who cares about your illness and you should trust experts who studied for years in the university. Using

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information on the internet or other ordinary

people

's comments is not a reasonable way and it could make the situation worse. Doctors usually have common protocols for each disease,

although

small details could appear in their solution and if

people

choose various approaches it will not be efficient. Patients

also

should visit their own doctors because they are aware of their background and

this

matter helps them use and ensure treatment for their illness. Specialists have a lot of investigations into medical science and new discoveries happened every day, even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some of them are not reliable and scientists should examine more to be sure about them, for

this

, the reason it is not reasonable to follow

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

as their results are published and

people

should wait.

For example

: during the Corona Virus pandemic some biotechnology companies released their vaccines to the market and their products do not have enough efficacy against the various and even in some cases, heart stroke happened,

nevertheless

, they had tons of permits from their government health organizations. In conclusion, even though some cases were successful but the disadvantages overweigh the advantages. ,

Also

human life is the most valuable wealth in the world and

people

should be careful and not threaten that with their wrong decisions.

Submitted by melika7amouian9 on Sat Dec 10 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Many museums charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Planting trees is very important. Some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while others say that housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Many Museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?