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Band 4.5

Food companies shoul not be allowed to give away free toys with their food. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#food #companies #shoul #toys
A lot of fast-food
chains
 decide to add some extra
toys
 to their
children’s
set
Fix the agreement mistake
sets
show examples
. Some people believe that it should be forbidden.
This
 essay will discuss why it should be not allowed, but will
also
 show that it could appear impossible. In
this
 day and age, all
companies
 try to attract consumers. Fast-food
companies
 act
similarly
, so they are trying to encourage the youngest consumers to choose their chain
insead
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
other restaurant
Change the wording
another restaurant
other restaurants
show examples
 by adding some extra
toys
. It could appear dangerous to the
children’s
 health because
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 which is served in these
chains
 doesn’t have any nutritional value and it contains plenty of saturated fats which could cause a lot of diseases
such
 as diabetes. These days parents maintain a
fast-peaced
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
 lifestyle so it is highly certain that they will agree
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a meal in fast food chain sometimes. Forbidding selling fast
food’s
Change noun form
food
show examples
 sets with extra
toys
 inside could definitely reduce the popularity of these
chains
, and
thus
 contribute to better
children’s
 health.
However
, forbidding free
toys
 could appear difficult to implement.
Fast- food
Correct your spelling
Fast-food
show examples
companies
 care about their PR. They are not doing anything wrong, so treating them differently than other
companies
 could end with protests or even with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 court case, which would be probably won by them. It seems to be unfair to prohibit only one type of
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
show examples
 from adding extras to their orders. To
conlude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, I agree that free
toys
 should not be allowed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children’s
set
Fix the agreement mistake
sets
show examples
 in fast-food
chains
, but I am afraid that the introduction of
such
 a law may end in defeat.
Submitted by mbin on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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