IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Your friend is asking for your advice. He is going to university and can't decide whether to study music or business management. Write a letter - How you felt when you got the letter - What the good points are for both sides and - What your advice is

Dear Vimal, I am doing good, hope all is well with you and your family! I am writing to share my advice on study options for your university education.
First
Linking Words
 of all, I am really excited to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 the news that you are planning to go for
university
Correct article usage
a university
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 education starting
next
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 fall semester.
This
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 will prove to be a positive step in the right direction which can advance your career prospects in the long run. I feel you are in a dilemma to choose between either
music
Use synonyms
 or
business
Use synonyms
 management as your major for graduation. I think you have been working on
music
Use synonyms
 as an extra-curricular activity since
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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secondary school which was due to your hobby of playing the guitar. I believe that attending a
music
Use synonyms
 program will improve your musical skills which you are already good at
Linking Words
to
Add the comma(s)
,to
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 begin with.
On the other hand
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,
business
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 management is something that you are keen to learn more considering your passion for expanding the family
business
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. In my opinion, attending a
business
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 school will be a significant value addition to your skillset which should
also
Linking Words
 help you to hone your skills for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 goals. I suggest you should proceed with selecting
business
Use synonyms
 management as your major to be able to focus on acquiring the skills in a structured approach. You can always pursue
music
Use synonyms
 as a hobby, take an evening class, and continue with your
ocassional
Correct your spelling
occasional
 performances. See you soon. All the best! Darshit

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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