Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree that there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #events #sports #olympics #tv #adults #exercise

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Some believe that global events

such

Linking Words

as Olympics or Worldcups are one of the greatest methods to persuade

people

Use synonyms

to exercise constantly. I completely agree with

this

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statement, since the best way to get citizens involved in

sports

Use synonyms

is to let them enjoy

sports

Use synonyms

together. During a Worldcup season, all the

people

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's interest will focus on the event.

As a result

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, the more games are shown on TV, the more

people

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including those who are not as interested in football as others will

also

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watch it along with their friends or family members.

This

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is actually an efficient way, since they are likely to try to learn the way games go and who are famous players in order to participate in conversations.

For example

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, never before 2002 when a Korea-Japan Worldcup was held, had

people

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been so interested in soccer as to root for the national team together.

Therefore

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, the number of

people

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playing football regularly got inflated by the Worldcup. Not only do popular

sports

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like soccer take an advantage of the phenomenon, but

also

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those that are not so common to the public like speed skating or figure skating can arise. What

this

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means is that the public could have more choices when they choose which

sports

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to try out. Yuna Kim,

for instance

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, who is revered as a national hero for obtaining several medals at Olympics, has taught so many Koreans to know the existence of figure skating, which had barely been known.

This

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led a number of

people

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to start taking in skating. Considering the fact that starting out is thought to be the hardest part of exercising, the Olympics seem to play a significant role. To sum up, even though there might be better and more direct ways, I believe that global

sports

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events to which

people

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pay attention together have a powerful influence over the public.

Submitted by johndaegeun on Sun Dec 11 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree that there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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