Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Others believe not have strict law is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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The drinking legal
age
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varies
according to
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the country,
while
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in some places people have the right to it at 18, other countries's laws dictate that one should be older than that. It is often argued that the government should not impose severe punishment on the drinking
age
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.
Nevertheless
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, in
this
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essay, I will elaborate on both standpoints and give my personal opinion on the matter. On one hand, these types of policies are legislated as a countermeasure to wrongdoings among the youth, as the recreational use of alcohol is linked to car accidents, brawls, and other illegal activities. It is worth mentioning that even though a person of any
age
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could be capable of committing the same misdemeanour, not a few people claim that the prevalence of crime is higher in younger generations when alcohol is involved,
hence
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, it is a clear indicative that
such
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a drug should be more regulated given that it is proportionately correlated to misdeeds. The United States is a perfect illustration of a society that reinforces these prejudices and takes active measures against them.
On the other hand
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, nations
such
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as Germany, have a different approach when it comes to their youth, the latter permits the recreational use of the aforementioned substance.
This
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proves to be rooted in the culture of the population in turn, and as it might be unadvertised for Americans, the crime rate is not influenced by the drinking
age
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. The approach of a society like
this
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is drastically different and serves as an example of how laws are not the only way to combat misdeeds. My opinion on
this
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topic is clear, laws should not be imposed upon the general population to try to reduce wrongdoings, illicit crimes are more often determined by several other factors like education, religion, and background, rather than the
age
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solely. As I
had
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apply
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stated in the previous paragraphs, it could be said that modern societies seem to be concerned about the correct approach to the legal drinking
age
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. It is my understanding that the currency of illegal activities tends to be linked to several other things than just
age
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.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating further on your arguments with more specific examples or evidence to support your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between ideas and paragraphs to enhance overall flow.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a more definitive conclusion that succinctly summarizes your perspective on the issue.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
task achievement
You demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic and articulate your opinions effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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