IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? zoos are not useful for everyone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#statements #zoos #support
The question of how to educate
people
 to be more aware of
animals
 is increasingly important to researchers and animal protectors, and
zoos
 can certainly claim to be the key possibility when deciding where to start.
However
, I feel that the importance of visiting
zoos
 is barely significant to some
people
.
Firstly
, it seems that some
people
 are not a fan of
animals
as a result
 of personal preferences.
For example
, some
children
 may have serious allergies after contact with
animals
' hair, potentially creating a tendency of aversion towards hairy beasts. In
this
 case,
zoos
 would certainly not be an ideal channel for
children
 like
this
 to study
animals
.
Secondly
, it is true that there are some
children
 or parents who consider it better to watch animal documentaries rather than to visit
zoos
 as they can learn about more genres of wild
animals
 on TV than
zoos
, impairing the importance and necessity of visiting
zoos
.
Finally
, we should remember that visiting
zoos
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 to be meaningless for pupils who are under the age of 5 or younger as they are not mature enough to identify different
animals
 and understand relevant knowledge about them. Admittedly, it is true that travelling to
zoos
 has a number of benefits ranging from the enhancement of
people
's awareness of protecting
animals
 to close contact with live creatures and the cultivation of
children
's interests in
animals
.
However
, these advantages seem to be witnessed only if visitors are interested in
animals
 and have the capability of accessing
zoos
 , which are genuinely not applicable to anyone. To sum up, it appears that
zoos
 are attractive and popular for their wide range of benefits.
Nevertheless
, the personal interest in creatures and cognitive competence make it inappropriate for some
people
 to visit
zoos
.
Submitted by wuxinzhao926 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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