IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? zoos are not useful for everyone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#statements #zoos #support
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The question of how to educate
people
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 to be more aware of
animals
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 is increasingly important to researchers and animal protectors, and
zoos
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 can certainly claim to be the key possibility when deciding where to start.
However
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, I feel that the importance of visiting
zoos
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 is barely significant to some
people
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.
Firstly
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, it seems that some
people
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 are not a fan of
animals
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as a result
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 of personal preferences.
For example
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, some
children
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 may have serious allergies after contact with
animals
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' hair, potentially creating a tendency of aversion towards hairy beasts. In
this
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 case,
zoos
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 would certainly not be an ideal channel for
children
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 like
this
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 to study
animals
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.
Secondly
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, it is true that there are some
children
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 or parents who consider it better to watch animal documentaries rather than to visit
zoos
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 as they can learn about more genres of wild
animals
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 on TV than
zoos
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, impairing the importance and necessity of visiting
zoos
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.
Finally
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, we should remember that visiting
zoos
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seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 to be meaningless for pupils who are under the age of 5 or younger as they are not mature enough to identify different
animals
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 and understand relevant knowledge about them. Admittedly, it is true that travelling to
zoos
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 has a number of benefits ranging from the enhancement of
people
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's awareness of protecting
animals
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 to close contact with live creatures and the cultivation of
children
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's interests in
animals
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.
However
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, these advantages seem to be witnessed only if visitors are interested in
animals
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 and have the capability of accessing
zoos
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 , which are genuinely not applicable to anyone. To sum up, it appears that
zoos
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 are attractive and popular for their wide range of benefits.
Nevertheless
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, the personal interest in creatures and cognitive competence make it inappropriate for some
people
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 to visit
zoos
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.
Submitted by wuxinzhao926 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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