Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However,other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is often considered by some menageries are inhuman and should be banned by governments animal conservatories in undeveloped countries. There, many servants even are not specialists in
while
there are people who disagree with Linking Words
this
and think Linking Words
zoos
are helpful to protect endangered Use synonyms
species
. Use synonyms
While
some support their opinion with reasonable arguments like numerous animals suffer in cramped cages and are not looked after correctly , others consider the animal collection a safe place for breeding and important to increase public knowledge and affection for the environment and I rely on their arguments. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss two side views.
The public who protest captivating and exhibiting fauna at the cages count on some undeniable reasons. Linking Words
Firstly
, Captivity causes distress to beasts and shortens their life expectancy than wildlife. Because the numerous pathogens and effects lead to some ailment that does not appear in nature . Linking Words
In addition
, there is Linking Words
such
a viewpoint, Linking Words
zoo
workers do not take care of animals sincerely especiallyCorrect word choice
that zoo
Change preposition
in
this
field. Linking Words
For example
, the latest statistics show that 15 per cent of the sudden deaths of creatures in cages are Linking Words
due to
the irresponsibility and ignorance of vets at the Linking Words
zoos
.
The public who Use synonyms
advocate
protecting wildlife in captivity despite having objective views argues that bringing up new offspring of endangered Correct subject-verb agreement
advocates
species
and sparking interest children to the flora and fauna are the main reasons for saving Use synonyms
zoos
in urban places. During the Use synonyms
last
surveys, general residents of cities agreed with Linking Words
this
opinion. Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
zoos
are free factors that rare kinds encounter in wildlife. It contributes and makes faster revitalizing Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
species
. A typical example of Use synonyms
this
increasing the number of cheetahs in the Namibian conservation zone rapidly from 2 to 13 individuals.
Linking Words
To conclude
, Linking Words
while
some support banning menageries and consider them injurious to creatures, there are people who pay attention helpful side of Linking Words
zoos
like the importance of them in breeding Use synonyms
species
and kindling general public interest in nature. By considering the argument I guess the latter view is more reliable and I support it.Use synonyms
Submitted by Teo Halimov on
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task achievement
Try to enhance your essay with clearer, more specific examples to support your points. While you provided some, more detailed instances or studies could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making your writing more coherent and engaging.
language
Make sure to check for grammatical accuracy and use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. This will enhance the overall quality of your essay.
task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view in your conclusion, summarizing both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. This will make your conclusion stronger and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
You've presented a well-structured argument discussing both sides of the issue, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
Your engagement with the topic and attempt to provide examples, such as the Namibian conservation zone, are appreciated.