All criminals should have access to education and rehabilitation programs while in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree on this IELTS topic?

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It is true in the present era, there are several criminals in the world,
however
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, all people in
prison
Use synonyms
need learning and rehabilitation programs. In the following essay, we explore to mention my perspective of
this
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view, and I will support my opinion . On the one hand, many communities suffer from a variety of crimes ,
for example
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, stealing, killing and revolution against the government.
In addition
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, there are fewer criminals and humans should obtain schooling and rehabilitation. A clear example is the public stealing from a supermarket or house, the government should provide him with
ahigh
Correct your spelling
a high
high
education in the same field and explain to him what are the risks when he is stealing.
Moreover
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, I remember the study published at the University of Nizwa in 2012 shows" an adult is stealing from anywhere and put him in
prison
Use synonyms
as a punishment but in the end, he should develop his avocations inside a
prison
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".
Therefore
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, the nations can face the community without being scared or afraid.
On the other hand
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, some criminals are the highest dangerous like killing a person. In
this
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situation, the judge should make strict decisions about the case.
As a consequence
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,
this
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person is not worth the life
due to
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his crime. In fact, individuals learn a good lesson about
this
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problem. To illustrate more, My colleague at the University killed my friend because of money,
therefore
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, the ministry killed him and a lot of students take more care to
deal
Wrong verb form
dealing
show examples
with anybody. In conclusion, I am convinced individuals who stay in
prison
Use synonyms
, need education and rehabilitation programs
instead
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of punishment.
Besides
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, people who kill, can not live and enjoy life. In
this
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case, the government should raise awareness among societies.
Also
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,
this
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is an opportunity for a man to learn about crimes by watching TV or some applications.
Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to further refine the logical flow of your arguments. Carefully review how each paragraph transitions to the next.
task achievement
Ensure more clarity in your arguments by avoiding overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader. Break down complex ideas into simpler sentences.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets out the topic and states your perspective, which is effective and clear.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples that illustrate key points, making your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Good use of a conclusive paragraph that summarizes your stance effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Recidivism
  • Reintegration
  • Personal development
  • Re-offending
  • Transformation
  • Root causes
  • Criminal behavior
  • Rehabilitation
  • Skilled workforce
  • Ethical dilemma
  • Funding prioritization
  • Incarceration
  • Societal benefits
  • Addressing causes
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