IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

#nutrition #obesity #countries #people #tax #food
The lack of nutrition in processed
food
 may drive the obesity rate in many developed countries and several
people
 think
this
 case can be reduced by increasing the tax for fast
food
. I partially agree with
this
 statement, because it may solve things in the shorter term but not in the long run if the whole
food
 chain factor does not consider as well. Processed
food
 is a term for unnatural pre-made
food
 which is produced to decrease the cost of production,
thus
, reducing the selling price of the products.
Additionally
, processed
food
 oftentimes does not have proper nutrition inside because many of its ingredients are not fresh, and it is using additional additives which induce a kind of addiction in the consumers.
Accordingly
, low prices, and addicting taste, drive
people
 to always buy it, especially, if the cost of fresh
food
 is more expensive, and hard to acquire.
For example
, America has one of the highest obesity rate nation in the world because many of its citizens do not have enough money to buy fresh
food
 so they tend to buy cheaper processed
food
 to live by.
This
 is when the government has to play a role to control the market, lowering the price of fresh
food
, making it more accessible, and
thus
, putting more taxes on processed
food
. They
also
 had to give campaigns to educate
people
 on eating and living healthier,
furthermore
, in the long run, the government can make a proper pedestrian and transportation system to induce
people
 to walk more, which is a form of the easiest kind of sport. In conclusion, I agree that the government ought to put higher taxes on processed
food
, but they
also
 had to make a more accessible, and cheaper fresh
food
 market that can support the campaign to eat and live healthier.
Submitted by ftm.zahroh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: