Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Smartphone

Add an article

The smartphone

A smartphone

show examples

is a great innovation of science for communication and has been facilitating people for a long day. It is true that offsprings invest a lot of their

time

on a mobile

phone

. I believe that

this

is negative development due to a lack of

parent's

Fix the agreement mistake

parents'

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concern about it and kids get distracted easily due to

this

technology. To commence with, nowadays, everyone's busy with their own schedule to

fast-paced

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the fast-paced

show examples

life.

Therefore

, when

children

ask their

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

to spend

time

with them and go

for

Change preposition

show examples

outings

then

due to lack of

time

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

give smartphones to their kids to distract their minds.

For example

, when

children

does

Change the verb form

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not eat food because of

childish

Correct pronoun usage

their childish

show examples

nature that

time

parent

prefer

Change the verb form

prefers

show examples

to give them

Add an article

a smart

show examples

smart

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

phone

or encourage them to watch television.

As a result

children

become habitual to it.

Moreover

, these days rules in schools are not very strict as they were before. Every kid has their own mobile

phone

and others watch them and demand

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it.

In addition

, using

mobile

Add an article

the mobile

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

all the

time

impacts

children

's brains and their concentration in study. In conclusion, we can't deny the usefulness of mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

but it is important to guard against overuse and possible detrimental effects on health.

Submitted by gkaurhundal20 on Mon Dec 12 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

205 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Fresh water has always been a limited source in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, what measurements can governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.