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Band 2.5

Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to important problems.Others believe that the celebrity can make the problems seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aid #organizations #attention #celebrity
It
is argue
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is argued
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by
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apply
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some folks that celebrities play an important role in helping global aid institutions to focus on special
problems
 , while others suggest that they could make these
problems
 insignificant. In
this
 essay , I will discuss both points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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 before reaching any opinion. On the one hand, renowned personalities have a great influence over their fans. Needless to say , millions of people followed
to
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apply
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the celebs on different social media platforms .
On
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In
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 other words, they own massive acceptance
of
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by
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public
Correct article usage
the public
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 through their networks. By pronouncing
about
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apply
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aid organizations via their networks, famous personalities can attract
vast
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the vast
a vast
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 majority of people to tackle daunting
problems
. One great example could be famous American actress Angelina Jolie who mainly posts social issues in developing countries
such
 as Pakistan and
Avganistan
Correct your spelling
Afghanistan
 on her Instagram .
On the other hand
, some people
are not convinced
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have not convinced
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celebs
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about celebs
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 since they tend to promote different products . Individuals might not accept their assistance to aid organizations
serious
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seriously
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 due to their extensive involvement in commercial promotions.
Thus
 , they may skip the announcements about worldwide issues too fast the same as advertisements
on
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in
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 the media . To recapitulate, after gauging both sides of
this
 trend , despite
of
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apply
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the
advertisement
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advertisements
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 celebs promote , I think they are actively involved in
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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 awareness about global
problems
 because they
still
Add a missing verb
are still
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 in
attention
Add an article
the attention
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 of commoners
Submitted by sevinchazimova11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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