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Band 6.5

Thanks to development of science and technology, the lifestyle have become more and more similar across the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#thanks #development #science #technology #lifestyle #world
Today's world has changed with the development of technology. It may result in the rapid spread of information which changes the individuals' lifestyle and live the same in many ways.
This
 essay will show my greater tendency of considering the negative ways in
this
 developed era due to the
humans'
Change noun form
humans
show examples
 identity, as well as the sense of nationality of their own country. On the one hand, local art should be integrated into everyday life as it will be the identity of people in certain areas.
Moreover
,
this
 will lead to the loss of their original fashion since they might imitate strangers' ways of life.
For instance
, Korean culture has gained a million fans around the world, and Indonesia is no exception. Following
this
, they will try to change their style of dressing up and the way they act.
Therefore
,
this
 cultural colonialization leads to the negative side of keeping the origins existing.
On the other hand
, every citizen must possess a sense of nationality to show their loyalty to their country.
Additionally
,
this
 action might introduce their culture or lifestyle to other countries which can broaden other knowledge towards diversity and lead to knowledge exchange among citizens from entire the world.
Thus
,
instead
 of imitating foreigners' lifestyles, it will be better if they can maintain their own origins while understanding others. To sum up,
although
 some people argue that the development of technology brings lots of benefits,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 they should consider the reduction of their identity and their nationality at once by copying how people live worldwide.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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