People believe that arts like painting and music does not directly improve the quality of life, and therefore they think government’s money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people believe that art, including painting and
music
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, has a slight effect on improving the quality of life. I strongly disagree with
this
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view because there have been numerous studies that show a hugely positive impact on our lives, particularly concerning our mental health. One major benefit of drawing is that it helps to relieve negative emotions, especially when facing stress.
Moreover
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, therapists highly recommend that their patients incorporate art into their daily routine, as it has been shown to have significant effects on mental well-being.
For instance
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, attending a painting workshop with friends regularly is a great way to nurture the soul and alleviate stress.
This
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practice has been linked to better emotional regulation and even increased happiness in some individuals. Another key benefit is the positive impact of
music
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on mood. Listening to
music
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, particularly in the morning, can provide an energy boost and improve
overall
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mental health.
On the other hand
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,
music
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can
also
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play a role in managing emotional challenges.
For example
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, listening to sad
music
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during difficult times can help individuals process negative emotions,
although
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it may lead to a more pessimistic outlook if overdone.
This
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highlights the importance of using
music
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intentionally to achieve the desired emotional outcome. In conclusion, art and
music
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can enhance the quality of life, provided they are used appropriately.
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, their benefits depend on how they are incorporated into daily life.
While
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they generally have a positive impact, their effects can vary depending on individual situations and emotional states

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task achievement
Your essay clearly states your position, which is important for task achievement. However, consider providing one more point to further substantiate your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas are coherent, there are a few transitions and linking phrases that could enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Including more specific examples or different perspectives can strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You effectively highlight the mental health benefits of art and music, which is well-supported by decent examples.
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