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Band 4

Many Cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments. Is this a positive or negative development?

#cities #parks #farmland #developments #development
In recent years, it has been noticed that
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of cities are making
an efforts
Correct the article-noun agreement
an effort
efforts
show examples
 to turn the play area and farming land into a new residential society which itself has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on
Correct article usage
the humanlife
show examples
humanlife
Correct your spelling
human life
 ecosystem.
Moreover
,
this
 essay will discuss why it’s
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 major concern in many areas as well as their impact on daily life. On the one hand, many people find it hard to locate any public places in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cities where they can gather and
playaround
Correct your spelling
play around
playground
. Usually, children after school will be willing to go to
nearby
Add an article
a nearby
the nearby
show examples
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 to
playaround
Correct your spelling
play around
 with
the
Change the word
their
show examples
friends
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
also
 it has been seen that even senior citizens walk into
park
Add an article
the park
show examples
 to find
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some relaxation and have a conversation with their
friends
. There has been a debate on
this
 issue
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
very
Add an article
a very
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 long time. Definitely, to balance the modern lifestyle where
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
pupils
Change preposition
of pupils
show examples
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 it difficult to maintain relations with
friends
 and family. Somehow, there are parks which is keeping children
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
socially active and people
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 any age
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have some relaxation place to
hangout
Correct your spelling
hang out
show examples
 and make new
friends
 as well.
On the other hand
, despite knowing the fact that turning
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
farmland into
development
Correct article usage
a development
show examples
 society will badly shape the
food
 chain supply into disaster. In modern days, it has become really tough to buy organic
food
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 grown with natural resources. Most cities
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on
food
 from the countryside and authorities never really worked
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to protect
Change the verb form
protecting
show examples
 the little piece of farming land for cultivation. In case of any calamity disaster happens, solely depending on
contryside
Correct your spelling
countryside
food
 will break the chain of transportation
indirectly
Correct word choice
and indirectly
show examples
 it will create havoc for
food
availiability
Correct your spelling
availability
. To conclude, turning farmland into new development
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
 will extensively create many negative impacts on many
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 which makes them less social and brings them more stress. As well as create havoc kind of situation in logistic distribution during any natural disaster occurs.
Submitted by sameer on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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