IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some deem that job pleasure is more important than job society. In contrast ,others think thay having a stable job is better than enjoying the job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In modern society, the job is always playing a significant role in our life. Nowadays, an increasing number of people's discussion
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres

It seems that centre may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 on whether choosing a stable industry or favourite industry becomes a controversial issue. In my view, an individual's interest is the key to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 phenomenon. An enjoyable task is better than a stable task for a professional career.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is obvious that a pleasurable position brings more motivation and creation. A person who is working in one's favourite field will not feel bored. Contrastively, they might pay more attention and more time to these. All those improvements make them achieve more career goals.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a pleasant place is good for psychology healthy.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we know some news about persons who suicide that the main reason due to depression disease. These problems always come from strong work pressure and stress.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, keeping good emotions in daily life is important.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is not to say that a stable industry is not a good choice. Indeed, a stable production has a stable production environment and stable income. Most of the time , people do not need to worry about the unemployment problem.
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as the government staff, public service department staff and so on. But if you lost your
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 fresh feeling after a long day, you would not gain more improvement in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 position. In sum, what kind of job should
choose
Add the particle
tochoose

It appears that the verb depend should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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 depend on everyone's decision and future plan. Only by doing what you really love to do, you can get more chances to succeed and gain lots of amazing achievements at the same time.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • financial stability
  • mental well-being
  • job security
  • career fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • motivation
  • productivity
  • personal achievements
  • stress reduction
  • employment uncertainty
  • professional growth
  • positive feedback loop
  • engagement
  • fulfillment
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