IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause stress, and how can we reduce it?

#stress #countries #world #factors #society
These days,
people
 could have a lot of stress in their life because they are worried
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their job, family or health.
However
, if they really listened to their true needs , they would, certainly, start to feel better. To elaborate, nowadays, since
people
 have a very busy life, they often appear very stressed
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the activities they daily have to do. Indeed, as many of them tend to work hard for many hours every day, they might continue to think of all the tasks they will need to do
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the following day after they finish working and come back home. Other
people
 frequently have a lot of difficulties staying with their partner or relatives even though they would want to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way they get along with each other .
Besides
this
, those who suffer from a serious illness
such
 as cancer or chronic disease can , admittedly, have any problem related to their health.
However
, if
people
 really dedicated more time to themselves, they would understand what needs they really have. If they tried to identify the factors that can lead to stress in their life, they would start to understand that they should spend more time with all
people
 they love doing any funny activity that makes them more calm and relaxed at both physical and mental
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
. I personally that if we started to relate better with ourselves and others , we would discover the real motivations that bring us all to
continuos
Correct your spelling
continuous
show examples
 stress.
Submitted by silviamangioni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment
  • financial instability
  • social safety nets
  • constant connectivity
  • work-life balance
  • remote work
  • social isolation
  • community support
  • chronic illnesses
  • affordable healthcare
  • public health campaigns
  • mental well-being
  • high-stakes testing
  • holistic education
  • flexible working hours
What to do next:
Look at other essays: