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Band 5

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
Food
 crisis due to a rise in population is one of the pressing issues we face as a society. Many
people
 believe that to overcome
this
, we should consider
insects
 as a
food
 choice, while
on the other hand
, few suggest if we do that,
then
 it will negatively impact one's health and it'll
also
 disrupt the natural
food
 cycle. In
this
 essay, we will discuss
beneficial
Add an article
the beneficial
show examples
 and adverse
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of
this
 view.
It
Add a verb
isIt
wasIt
show examples
 unarguably true that,
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
show examples
 for
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
food
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 is increasing rapidly. To feed
this
 immense population, many
people
 argue that we should start consuming edible small creatures especially
insects
 as our new
food
 source. because it'll reduce the demand
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other
food
 sources and eventually it would
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the demand of
growing
Add an article
the growing
show examples
 population.
For example
, If non-vegetarians start eating
this
Change the determiner
this insect
these insects
show examples
insects
then
 they will become less
rely
Replace the word
reliant
show examples
 on vegetarian
food
 sources and that way we can save more
food
 to meet
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emerging needs.
On the contrary
, some
people
 argue that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 having
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
 would badly affect
people
's health. It's hard to know the consequences of eating
such
 kinds of
food
.
For example
, as we all know,
people
 are allergic to certain kinds of
food
 and
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
insects
, it could be riskier for some
people
.
Moreover
,
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of
such
insects
 will negatively impact the natural cycle of
food
, and
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
 we have to pay the price for it. To conclude,
Although
 the urgent need for new
food
 sources is alarming, solutions must not ha one's well-being along with
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
food
 cycle.
Submitted by deepmal933 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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