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Band 5

Living abroad is better than staing in your hometown? Do you agree or disagree?

#hometown
It is argued that being a resident abroad is beneficial compared to
hometown
Correct article usage
a hometown
show examples
.
Although
 living
hometown
 doesn't offer numerous
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 for your
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
, I strongly believe that, as
people
 are out of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 comfort zone when they are living outside their main countries, they have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to
being
Change the form of the verb
be
show examples
 more successful. On one hand,
people
states
Change the verb form
state
show examples
 that living in
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
their hometown
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 them to having a more certain life. They find living there more trustworthy since they have already gotten used to
this
 life type, leading them not
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
show examples
 any
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 about their lives. When they take
Add an article
the risk
a risk
show examples
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
, they believe that their order will be destroyed.
For example
, mounting evidence ,which is
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
 of
survey
Add an article
the survey
a survey
show examples
, concerning
this
 issue suggest that
people
 who are
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 in their native city,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
feel safe because of not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to take
risk
Add an article
the risk
a risk
show examples
. To sum up, there is a
gereral
Correct your spelling
general
 approach
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living in
hometown
Correct article usage
a hometown
show examples
doesn't
Correct pronoun usage
that doesn't
show examples
 require taking any
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
.
On the other hand
, other
people
 agree with the statement that living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas supplies beneficial opportunities to them because when
people
 are not in their comfort zone, they need to push their selves more than normal, which can lead to exploring
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 maximum level of them.
For example
, The most successful
people
such
 as Nusret ,which is the most famous
buthcer
Correct your spelling
butcher
 in Turkey and in the world, he went to
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
 to get educated and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 his dreams come true when he was twenty. Currently, he has four
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
restaurants
 around the world
such
 as LA, Dubai, Turkey and New York. In
berief
Correct your spelling
brief
, living abroad is better for
this
 reason. In conclusion, whether living in
native
Correct article usage
a native
show examples
 or different country remains a controversial issue. Even though
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 offers more
guarantee
Replace the word
guaranteed
show examples
 life, If ı had to
chooe
Correct your spelling
choose
 one, it would be the latter one as the possibility of discovering
top
Add an article
the top
show examples
 of yourself is significant for me.
Submitted by merttufan197 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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