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Many of the diseases which afflict people with office jobs are the direct result of a sedentary lifestyle. Agree or disagree?

#diseases #people #office #jobs #lifestyle
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Nowadays, more and more people
work
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 as white collar and can do their job comfortably in an
office
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.
However
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, some people claimed that
this
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 situation directly causes many kinds of diseases. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
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 viewpoint because there are other reasons that affect our health more directly. In the following essay, I will show some reasons and explain my view. It is argued that working in
office
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 jobs can be the main
reason
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 for getting diseases. The
reason
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 is that the workers need to sit on the
office
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 chair for almost 8 hours and keep staring at the computer all day long.
Thus
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, they don’t have enough opportunity to stretch their body and relax. So, it can be easy for them to gain weight and cannot release their stress by moving their body and resting their eyes.
Moreover
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, because of the improvement in technology, we use computers to
work
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 a lot, and
this
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 will let our shoulders uncomfortable and easy to gain shoulder pain.
Nevertheless
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, I think the straight
reason
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 for getting ill is the lifestyle we take.
This
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 means if we can take care of ourselves
then
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 whether we
work
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 in the
office
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 or do physical jobs, we can maintain our health.
For example
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, the white collars can exercise after
work
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, take a quick rest during
work
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, and
also
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 choose healthy food
instead
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 of junk food. Maintaining these kinds of lifestyles is a good way to prevent us from getting sick. In conclusion, I strongly believe the main
reason
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 for getting an illness depends on if we keep our lifestyle healthy or not. Even if we need to
work
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 a very long time in the
office
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, we still can maintain our health.
Submitted by tracy19978688 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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