Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit

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Some people think that

teenagers

Use synonyms

should do

community

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work which is unpaid in their free time

that is

Linking Words

good

Add an article

a good

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way to give the

community

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some benefits.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Add a comma

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the

teenagers

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will obtain many experiences in communication with others and doing new things.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

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teenagers

Use synonyms

need to know how to communicate with others in the best way and how to do many things.

Firstly

Linking Words

, when some

teenagers

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volunteer to clear

park

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parks

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, streets or beaches, they will feel happy.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they will clean their rooms to get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

happiness.

Secondary

Replace the word

Secondly

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, many

teenagers

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should do basic work without

get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

money

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to can be independent in the future.

For example

Linking Words

, when some

teenagers

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cook at a restaurant, they will obtain many information of

cooking

Change preposition

about cooking

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that is

Linking Words

good for them in

Correct article usage

the next

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days.

Finally

Linking Words

usually

Add a comma

usually,

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many people want

money

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to work, but when

teenagers

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do not get any

money

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for their

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

, they will

Unnecessary verb

apply

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normally

Fix the infinitive

apply

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do something unpaid. On another hand, the

community

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receives benefits as well from unpaid

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

, so people and

teenagers

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who have free time have to do something for their

community

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to improve the pleasure between others.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, unpaid

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

increase

Change the verb form

increases

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the relationship in the

community

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that

Correct pronoun usage

which

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will

rise

Verb problem

increase

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the cooperation and the improvement in their life. In conclusion, there are many opinions about unpaid

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

teenagers

Use synonyms

who have free time, but in my opinion, I

concert

Verb problem

agree

show examples

with working without

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

money

Use synonyms

since it is important to improve

the

Correct article usage

show examples

living.

Submitted by hassan.alalia on Wed Dec 14 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

243 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

required
unpaid
community work
benefit
teenagers
life skills
volunteering
empathy
compassion
socially aware
responsible
interact
diverse backgrounds
cultural understanding
tolerance
work experience
essential skills
employment
interests
passions
career development
contribute
betterment
development
local community
mental well-being
stress
self-esteem
burden
academic
personal lives
time management
support
balance
participate
encouraged
numerous benefits
individuals
conclusion

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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

: Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Many people think that increasing business and cultural contacts between countries is a positive development. However, others believe that these are leading to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In future all cars will be driverless cars, in your opinion are advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people believe that climate change has the greatest effect on people’s way of life. Others believe the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

the money spent by goverenment on space programmes would e better spent on vitl public services such asschool and hospitals.To what extend do you agree or disagree.