IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

An increasing number of people are changing their careers during their working time. What causes this trend and is it a positive or negative development?

#people #careers #time #trend #development
The diagrams illustrate information about how the number of people in the world, how they spend, and the way they use
resources
. Overall, Asia has the highest population rate though it is not part of the
continents
 that consume a lot of
resources
.
To begin
 with, the universe spends about half of the money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food and transport with 24 and 18 per cent respectively. Followed by others with just 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. When it comes to clothing and housing, less capital is used. Moving on, Asia has more than half of its people occupying the world, followed by America and Europe
continents
 with both 14 per cent each. Africa and other
continents
 have a small population of 10% and 5% in that order. Coming to the usage of
resources
, both Europe and the USA consume more than 60% though they have
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
. Other
continents
 spend just 40% on
resources
. Asia,
however
, is not mentioned as one of the
continents
 that use a lot of
resources
 even though it has a lot of people.
Submitted by 1155131483 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: