IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some think that private companies should pay for cleaning up pollution, while others say it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#think #companies #pollution #government’s #responsibility
There existed a difficult problem related to the
pollution
 issues that it is the government’s
responsibility
 or private companies to clean it. In my opinion, I would argue that it is
companies’
Correct article usage
the companies’
show examples
responsibility
 and
also
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
Correct the word
ours
show examples
. On the one hand, We all know that each month we are required to pay taxes
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the government, so they can use that money to maintain some political activities, countries’
economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
show examples
 and for several purposes.
For example
, we have to pay taxes for the police to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
security,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
 pay for workers to build and clean our
street
Fix the agreement mistake
streets
show examples
, so it is not relatively strange that
our
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 taxes we paid include fees for environmental fixes. For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 I think it’s the government’s
responsibility
 to clean up the
pollution
.
On the other hand
,
Besides
 the government
having
Change the form of the verb
has
show examples
 to handle the
pollution
 problem, every person in a company should give them a hand to protect our atmosphere. We live together and the environment is the same for every individual, so we need to act for environmental protection because of these reasons.
First
,
pollution
 can harmfully affect our health and it’s our
responsibility
 to cope with our health problems.
In addition
, if everyone joins hands to solve the problem of environmental
pollution
, we do not need to depend on the government to intervene because they have so many other things to do. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that it is the
responsibility
 of private companies to tackle climate
pollution
.
Submitted by nhudinhngocanh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: