The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest threat faced by humanity at the present time. Do you agree or disagree?

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The increasing
Correct article usage
Increasing

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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overpopulation is the biggest threat faced by human beings today.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay totally agrees with that statement because of the serious depletion of natural resources and pollution. The rapid growth of people in the world means overconsumption of
planet's
Correct article usage
the planet's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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resources
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as oil and gas which are commonly used with cars and offices.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

excessive usage exploits our nature
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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without realizing the consequences of these actions.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, China is one of the most populated
country
Change to a plural noun
countries

The singular countable noun country follows the quantifier one, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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in the world and the government made a strict law on penalizing the citizens
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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unnecessary consumption of electricity in the establishment
whereas
Correct word choice
which

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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resulted in a huge reduction
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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electric bills. Another reason is that with the
increase
Replace the word
increasing

The word increase doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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number of people, companies and factories should produce more products to supply the demands of the world.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
abnoxious
Correct your spelling
obnoxious

If you don’t want abnoxious to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

gasses
release
Replace the word
released

The word release doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the air can cause
dieases
Correct your spelling
diseases

If you don’t want dieases to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

like lung cancer and other respiratory problems.
Nonetheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these pollutants are harmful and workers are not thinking of
it's
Replace the word
its

It appears that the contraction it's should be a possessive pronoun instead. Consider changing it.

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consequences.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, KSA has a high rate of H2S in the air because of
overproduction
Correct article usage
the overproduction

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of oil to meet the request. In conclusion, in an overpopulated environment, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number

It seems that numbers may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of people might be more than the available essential materials and harmful elements poses
a
Change the article
the

It appears that the phrase a greatest risk does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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greatest risk to all. I,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, believe all countries should raise awareness brought by
dense
Correct article usage
the dense

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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population not only today but for the
next
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

generation.
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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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