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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that in order to reduce crime, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prisoners #prison #sentences #alternative #viewpoints
It is a controversial topic to be discussed, some people argue that we should punish criminals with long prison sentences and it will lead to
diminish
Change the verb form
diminishing
show examples
 the
crime
rate
. While I agree that law-breakers should face the result of their atrocities, I do not support
this
 idea, I do believe that there are many active alternatives to accomplish
this
. On one hand, those who argue that
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 period of prison would be a shield to protect the community and make individuals think about the consequences of any action. They did not consider that the law already
punishing
Wrong verb form
punished
show examples
 killers and
rapist
Fix the agreement mistake
rapists
show examples
 with long and harsh punishments, but the
rate
still
Add a missing verb
was still
show examples
 the same.
For example
 in some Latin American countries, famous drug dealers have been executed;
such
 as Pablo Escobar,
nevertheless
, the
crime
rate
 is still the same especially when we talk about drugs.
On the other hand
, there are many alternatives to implement, rather than old ways, one of them is raising folk awareness, encouraging ethical beliefs, increasing the sense of justice among people,
fighting
Correct word choice
and fighting
show examples
unemplyment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
,
although
 it would be hard to achieve all these at one time, but making
this
 like a constitution will make a difference and certainly it would be reflected in the
crime
rate
. For
instanse
Correct your spelling
instance
, in developed countries where these ideas are considerably
advance
Wrong verb form
advanced
show examples
 and taking place in the mindset, the
rate
 of
cime
Correct your spelling
time
crime
 there is less than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 countries. To sum up,
However
, terrible fate like a long prison period would be successful sometimes, in the long term we need more active alternatives to fight the
crime
 from the roots
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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