Loneliness is an increasing problem in many societies,especially among elderly. Why is this? How might it be remediated.

Nowadays, the issue of being lonely is raising within societies,

also

it is crucial among the elderly. Several news reported that senior citizens passed away alone in their residences. People started to be aware of and discussed

this

topic. In

this

essay, I will provide the causes and point some way out.

First

of all, most countries are having a decreased birth rate. As individuals do not bother to bear a child due to some reasons.

This

is because education for a child costs much more than they could handle.

Lastly

, they choose to stay with their beloved partner for the rest of their life, while time flies they would feel lonely if one of them went to heaven early. So, in order to increase the birth rate, the government should provide an allowance to lift the burden of education fees.

Thus

, seniors will be able to feel the warmth and happy moments with their children.

In addition

, the human body's functions tend to decrease during ageing and lost some ability to take care of themselves.

Also

, the elderly are afraid of being contemptible, as they may not be able to complete their daily living activities

such

as continence. Lots of elderly suffer incontinence due to their bladder or bowel dysfunction, and it requires assistance to take care

Change preposition

of.

show examples

Hence

, to prevent being discriminated against due to

such

problems, they rather interact with fewer people as possible which causes them to feel lonely. To manage

this

issue, organisations could hold campaigns or activities where the participants are among seniors and youngsters, as they get along together to feel kindness and cherish each other, and

also

increase the social ability of the elderly. In conclusion, to decrease the loneliness of seniors, the government should reach out to the family who has children and associations could hold activities to bring interaction between the elderly and youngsters.

Submitted by yeejing2009 on Thu Dec 15 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Loneliness is an increasing problem in many societies,especially among elderly. Why is this? How might it be remediated.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Living in the country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Topic: Spoken communication is always more powerful than written communication. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

What is your opinion about a success of a team: does it depend on mental attitude of the whole team or on the strongest individual? Discuss. Give relevant examples.

Task 1 The images below explains the process of how pollutants from modern life become acid rain that in turn pollutes the environment and the food chain. summarise the information by selecting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at the least 150 words.