Some people say that time and money spent on music classes in schools aren’t necessary; instead, children should be learning a useful subject such as science and computer. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples

The debate over whether
music
classes should be prioritized in school curricula or be replaced by more utilitarian subjects like
science
and computer studies is a contentious one.
While
I understand the importance of equipping children with
skills
that are immediately applicable in today’s technology-driven world, I firmly believe that
music
education
holds significant value and should not be discarded. First and foremost,
music
education
fosters creativity and emotional expression, which are crucial for holistic
development
. Unlike the structured and analytical nature of
science
and computer studies,
music
provides an outlet for
students
to explore their imaginative potential.
For example
, learning to play an instrument or compose a piece of
music
requires a level of creativity
that is
not typically cultivated through traditional STEM subjects.
This
creative exercise can lead to enhanced problem-solving
skills
and innovative thinking, both of which are highly valuable in any field of study or profession.
Moreover
,
music
education
has been linked to numerous cognitive benefits. Research has shown that children who receive musical training often perform better in areas
such
as language
development
, mathematical ability, and spatial-temporal
skills
.
For instance
, learning to read
music
and understand rhythm involves recognizing patterns and structures, which are fundamental
skills
in mathematics. These cognitive benefits suggest that
music
education
supports and enhances learning in other academic areas rather than detracting from them.
Additionally
,
music
classes can play a critical role in social and emotional
development
. Participating in a school band or choir teaches
students
about teamwork, discipline, and the importance of practice and perseverance. These are essential life
skills
that are not exclusive to any single academic subject.
For example
, performing in a group requires
students
to listen to one another and work together harmoniously, fostering a sense of community and collaboration. These experiences are invaluable in preparing
students
for future workplace environments, where teamwork and interpersonal
skills
are paramount.
While
it is undeniable that
science
and computer studies are crucial in preparing
students
for a future increasingly dominated by technology,
this
does not necessitate the exclusion of
music
from the curriculum. Rather than viewing
music
education
and STEM subjects as mutually exclusive, they should be seen as complementary. A balanced
education
that includes
music
alongside
science
and technology will produce well-rounded individuals capable of critical thinking, creativity, and emotional intelligence. In conclusion, the time and money spent on
music
classes are indeed necessary and beneficial.
Music
education
enriches
students
’ academic, cognitive, and social
skills
, thereby contributing to their
overall
development
.
Therefore
, schools should strive to maintain a balanced curriculum that includes both the arts and sciences, ensuring that
students
receive a comprehensive
education
that prepares them for all aspects of life.
Submitted by Sh.ferdowsian94 on

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relevant specific examples
Try to expand on the specific benefits of music education with more concrete examples and study references to further strengthen your argument.
logical structure
Continue to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and that your points build cohesively on one another.
introduction conclusion present
Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly present and summarize your opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Well-developed and clear ideas that comprehensively address the task prompt.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported and effectively reinforce your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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