IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

the number of visitors to three london museums between 2007 and 2012

#visitors #three #london #museums
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The diagram illustrates the number of people visiting three London museums from 2007 to 2012. These museums are
national
Correct article usage
the national
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 Gallery,
he
Correct your spelling
the
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 Victoria and Albert
Museum
Use synonyms
, and the British
Museum
Use synonyms
. Overall, all three
Use synonyms
museum
Change to a plural noun
museums
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 has fluctuated trend during the given time period. In 2007, the
national
Change the capitalization
National
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 Gallery has the least visitor with only around 6
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 people yet it grows ever since to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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just over 15
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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millions
Correct your spelling
million
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 by 2012. Meanwhile, the British
Use synonyms
museum
Change the capitalization
Museum
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 started the number with 12
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 visitors yet it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased by half in the following year. It
then
Linking Words
 went plateaued in 2009 and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 for the rest of the period and ended up being the
second
Linking Words
 highest visitor,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for just under 15
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 visitors. When the two museums successfully grew the number of visitors, the Victoria and Albert
Museum
Use synonyms
 lose
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
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 by the end of the period.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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