It is important for people to take risks, both in their personal lives and professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives #risk

It is observed that getting

risks

are

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

for some people and it is not only personal lives but

also

professional

Change preposition

in professional

show examples

lives. From my point of view, there are disadvantages to

this

phenomenon outweighing its advantages which I will explain in

this

essay. On the one hand, the

first

downside of taking

risks

is that one may

loose

Replace the word

lose

show examples

his job and career.

In other words

, if a

bussinesperson

Correct your spelling

businessperson

gets a risk, he might deal with many problems. Another drawback of getting

risks

is that it could be dangerous circumstances for lives.

For example

, climbers have to use personal

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

during the climb

Change preposition

of a

show examples

mountain. If they do not use them, it will be bad

situations

Fix the agreement mistake

situation

show examples

In addition

to these disadvantages are that it causes

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

pay fine in

traffic

For instance

, a vehicle driver who

drive

Change the verb form

drives

show examples

fast his car may be caught a

traffic

police.

As a result

this

condition, he may charge with some

traffic

fines.

On the other hand

, one upside of getting

risks

is that it may ensure

to win

Change the verb form

winning

show examples

much more money.

For example

, people who invest their money to take bitcoins might win lots of

cashes

Change the wording

cash

amounts of cash

flows of cash

fistfuls of cash

show examples

Moreover

, the

second

advantage of taking

risks

is that it provides more social environments.

In other words

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

who take

risks

try

Change the form of the verb

trying

show examples

to find

the same situations people

Change to a genitive case

the people of the same situation

show examples

, so their social networks expanded. In conclusion,

although

, getting

risks

may have

sevaral

Correct your spelling

several

advantages

such

to win

Change the verb form

winning

show examples

a great amount of money and ensuring more social environments, the demerits which are

loosing

Replace the word

losing

show examples

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

, being dangerous for life, and paying

traffic

fines can easily overweigh them.

Submitted by orhanveli2006 on Thu Dec 15 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?
Success definition is different for every individual depending on their personality and opinion. Some believe that being wealthy is the answer, while others think that living a happy and healthy life with your family is the key. In some cases, people consider that it defines a person to become their best version and reach the highest point they can in their lives. Moreover, it is assumed that it could be seen through someone's academic achievement.
6
band
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at university in many countries. Why is this? What effects does this have on society?
For those wishing to acquire knowledge at a tertiary level, there is a wide range of subjects available these days. However, it has recently become apparent that the number of university students opting for science subjects is diminishing. While the motives for this shift of attitudes can vary, it has several detrimental consequences on society.
6
band
Every year some languages die out. Some people think that it is not important because life will be easier if there are few languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
ln some parts of the world, native languages are being lost as the world develops and evolves. Some believe that this is unimportant and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss whether the loss of languages should be cause for concern.
5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are a member of an organisation which meets regularly at a particular restaurant. The most recent meal you had there was not satisfactory. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In your letter explain why you are writing describe what went wrong with the meal and service suggest what the manager should do to ensure that you and your group return to the restaurant You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear,... You should write at least 150 words.
I hope this letter finds you well.
<4
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social prblems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements?
There is no doubt that these days many people suffer from migration and learning the language of the country their living in , also they find difficulties in the work place where they should speak the language of the area they're immigrated to.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their personal lives and professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at university in many countries. Why is this? What effects does this have on society?

Every year some languages die out. Some people think that it is not important because life will be easier if there are few languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social prblems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements?