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Band 6.5

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #home #restaurants
Some
people
 believe that eating home-cooked
food
 is more beneficial for
people
 in general and
also
 for
families
. I somewhat agree with
this
 because it is healthier and less expensive;
however
, eating out on occasion can be a good family experience. The main reason I agree is that cooking and eating at home gives
people
 control over the ingredients they use to make the
food
.
People
 can ensure they use fresh and healthy ingredients to maintain a better diet and focus on their health.
As well as
this
 they can avoid the additives restaurants often add to their
food
such
 as monosodium glutamate.
Additionally
, it is generally less expensive to eat home-cooked meals as restaurants need to not only cover their expenses
such
 as staff wages, but
also
 charge premiums for signatory dishes or ambience.
This
 is a great benefit to family budgets, and
families
 can reduce their expenses by eating at home.
On the other hand
, a family making a trip to a restaurant can be a good
family-bonding
Correct your spelling
family bonding
show examples
 experience. It can help the family to enjoy the ambience and
food
, without any family member having to go through the entire cooking and cleaning process.
Furthermore
,
due to
 the busy lives
families
 have, it can sometimes be helpful for everyone to enjoy a meal that someone else prepared, giving the entire family an excuse to sit down and make time for each other. In conclusion, I somewhat believe that eating at home is better because eating home-made
food
 is beneficial to the health of
people
 and it reduces the expenses of
families
.
However
, occasional meals at restaurants allow an individual or a family to take a break and to socialise.
Submitted by musayevjahangir on

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Detail and Development
Ensure all arguments are equally developed. While your essay presents a balanced view, sometimes one side of an argument could benefit from further elaboration or more specific examples.
Advanced Cohesion
Consider integrating more varied linking devices to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs. Your essay already shows good cohesion but further variation can elevate your writing.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, succinctly presenting your stance and summarizing the main points effectively.
Logical Structure
You've shown an excellent ability to organize your essay logically, making your argument easy to follow.
Specific Examples
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Clarity of Arguments
You've articulated your ideas clearly and comprehensively, contributing to an engaging and persuasive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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