Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to reset the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #reset

It is essential for individuals to possess some personal

time

as it could bring benefits. Some people agree that using

this

period improves the

mind

while others think that it should be used to reset the

mind

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides and provide my opinion.

Firstly

, people have their leisure

time

after all day of working,

meanwhile

Add a comma

,meanwhile

show examples

they have no

time

to boost themselves. As a way to increase their knowledge, they have to carry on during their leisure

time

Also

this

helps them widen their horizons and may provide more efficient performance in their work. A CEO of a company has always been required to overcome some financial problems, by learning and reading more books that are related, they could provide a better solution, as an illustration. So, it is good to boost your thought during your free

time

On the other hand

, leisure

time

also

gives a certain duration to unwind individuals' minds, as we always feel stressed most of the

time

. Relaxing during personal

time

helps to ease the tension and

also

improves our mental health. There are many ways of resetting our minds

such

as spending

time

with our beloved family or friends not only to decrease the stress but

also

to improve our relationship with each other.

Hence

, resetting the

mind

does clear the negative feelings and provides a clearer mindset. In a nutshell,

although

improving knowledge during your free

time

may lead to a better presentation, resetting the

mind

could keep us away from unhealthy thoughts.

In my

Change preposition

show examples

opinion, I am sitting on the fence as both views give different effects, I believe that either improving or resetting the

mind

is depending on the current situation that you required.

Submitted by yeejing2009 on Fri Dec 16 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

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Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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